Charlie's Ribs
 Akron, Ohio         Date of Visit  09/14/12         http://charliesribs.com/ 

So, finishing our third year of doing this we are still running out to local places we just haven’t made it to yet. Charlie’s Ribs in Copley is just up the road a piece from us and we have not added them yet. You might think that this is due to the fact that the place looks like it was lived in by the Clampetts before they struck oil…black gold…Texas tea. We are far from biased solely by the exterior of a place. The less welcoming location of Hot Sauce Williams, Chap’s Charcoal, Gene’s and Jude’s and several others have taught us not to judge a book by it’s cover. If you do you will miss a lot of deliciousness. Of course, you might also miss horribleness, dysentery and haunting nightmares.
 

What The Freak Is Going On Here? I Hope To God They Don't Have A Basement.
 

Yes, Charlie’s looks like it might blow over on a windy day but there is barely a breeze out today so we are going to risk it. The interior does nothing to buoy a sense of hope. It’s pretty dirty. Really dirty. The poor lonely employee behind the counter looks like her time at Charlie’s has aged her more than forty years of heavy meth use. After watching her embarrassment at having to explain four times why they were out of this, that, the other thing and half of everything else. She tried very hard but the reality of whoever Charlie is or whoever owns it now, makes service difficult and painful. There are two operational booths to seat a grand total of four which screams out “Please don’t eat here.” Then we were told we could sit in the “catering” back room which screams “I thought I told you, DON’T EAT HERE!”

Sticky and ragged we should have eaten in the car. All of this is forgivable is the food is stellar. You don’t see bubbling crude every time you are out shootin' at some food.
 

We ordered a discounted slab of ribs (the sign says they are award winning after all), a half a BBQ chicken, a two piece fried chicken, jojos and bbq beans. We were initially interested in hot wings, beverages and mac and cheese but like I said the menu is more to make you hungry than it is a way to satisfy that hunger. Our first bites were the fried chicken and the jojos. The potatoes were passable, the chicken a little better. Nothing special in either case but it starts you hoping there is a nice local Q joint that is worthy of patronizing. We do enjoy the Q. The ribs might have won an award but I don’t want to suggest exactly what it might have been. I try to limit my profanity on the site.
 

The ribs weren’t cleaned, likely weren’t smoked. Fatty, stringy, chewy, everything you don’t want in a rib. Smother them with an insipid and almost sweaty in consistency sauce from some bottle to try to hide a multitude of sins and end up amplifying them instead and there’s your award. The chicken was marginally better with some texture but was guilty of most of the felonies binding the ribs over for trial.

Yes, Charlie’s was essentially horrible. Yes. My arms are still sticky. Not from BBQ sauce but from the tables. No, we won’t be going back but I am still glad we went. You don’t know till you know. Now we do. Eat elsewhere.

  P.S. Dear Precious...We know it wasn't the chair.