Main Street Cafe
 Medina, Ohio        Date of Visit  06/03/12         http://www.themainstreetcafe.com/

Going to Medina to find some stuff to take melted plastic off of chrome, we figured we would hit a burger joint we had heard something about and failed to find it. Not sure if it’s closed and repurposed or the gps in the phone thought we should eat somewhere else and hid it from us. Regardless we pulled up the restaurant overlay and decided to try a place right on the square in Medina, Main Street Café. The space itself is not very cafesque. Dark inside, dressed up servers, loud, just doesn’t feel like a café.
 

Here's A Western Looking Part Of The Interior
 

Maybe it’s just a snooty one. The loud would fit if it came from an active clientele but it was just us and a bunch of staff. The loud actually came from the weird amalgam of music blaring out of the speakers. First screeching jazz, some "Bumba Dee Dah" country, back to jazz, then easy listening. It didn’t make any sense why it was so loud until the blower for the furnace came on and drowned out the music. It literally blew the door open or closed. While the blower was running the door would actually swing open about a foot and hover there until it kicked off.

The décor is also odd. Rose wall paper and wooden chairs feel like an old western hotel, the bare brick walls feel more industrial revolution factory, the wooden Indian tucked in the corner reminds me of Cheers and the wall of black and white photos seem museum-like. Interesting café they got there in Medina. Our server and the hostess seemed melancholy. It might well be they were calculating their tips in an empty restaurant.
 

We ordered an appetizer of baked brie, two sandwiches and a couple of fry options. The double cream brie came in puff pastry served over a spiced mandarin orange reduction and was topped with caramel and walnuts. Steph said it reminded her of apple pie and it does seem to mimic the classic in a more savory sense. Easily the best thing we had during our visit. Crispy layers of pastry and runny cheese welcome the intense sweetness of the sauce. The fruit was a nice touch but the strawberry was well past it’s prime and about five minutes from sprouting hair. The mixed greens under the fruit was better mixed with the rest of the plate than I expected, over all the appetizer was pretty darn good.
 

Similarly Unsuccessful...
 

The  BBQ sandwich had a fair pile of relatively flavorless pork that did get some assistance from the cup of sauce but the lack of smoke and other spice was a real disappointment. We tried chili cheese and BBQ cheese fries which were near indistinguishable and the hand cut fries didn’t have a chance of standing up to all of the cooler fat and liquid and were quickly soggy and mushy. I’ve seen significantly better. The sandwich came with a cup of cole slaw which was pretty close to tragic. Cabbage, a dressing apparently made from emulsified air and celery seeds, lots and lots of celery seeds. There was some sort of dressing on the vegetable, it was wet, it just didn't taste like anything. Except celery seeds. Oh that's not entirely fair; it did also taste of celery seeds.
 

What really caught our attention was a burger called the Sloppy Heem. There was no way we weren’t trying this. A Cajun grilled burger with buffalo wing sauce and cream cheese. It looked pretty good too. It ended up being underwhelming. It must have been extra “Heem-y” whatever that means cause it sure wasn’t sloppy. The burger took a nice sear and was alright, the thin smear of fresh cheese and the splash of hot sauce didn’t do much. The sauce was actually interesting; there just wasn’t enough of it to really taste it against the burger. It had promise. I will try it at home and I know sloppy, I am still the goop master. Condiments are awesome.

The bill likely explains a large percentage of our very lonely lunch. It exceeded what was delivered by a wide margin. I don’t really see reason to return.