Metro Burger
 Akron, Ohio         Date of Visit:  02/04/12

Somehow we keep failing to get into places and look for a fall back location to check out. It hasn’t been working out very well. No available reservations for Flour sent us to Washington Place, hopefully our current Flour reservations will work out better than our meal at the back up. This time we actually pulled into a desolate parking lot, called from the car, found out we were approximately five and a half hours early for opening (oooops) and just drove down Market Street in Akron looking for lunch.



This Stuff Tasted Delicious

I had seen the sign from Metro Burger before and at that point we had essentially decided to hit the next thing we saw and we have been on a bit of a burger run as of late and Bob’s your uncle. Just off the end of the more proletarian feeling Highland Square string of restaurants, Metro Burger is much more modern and aims towards swanky. The wait staff appears widely varied in competence, as widely varied as the clientele.

Oh that’s right, the clientele is the service staff. When you walk in there are clipboards holding do it yourself, scantronesqe order sheets where you “design” your own sandwich. You then go to the counter where someone enters your design into the POS and you sit until summoned to retrieve your lunch. You might wonder if the fill it out system is there to avoid mistakes that might be inherent in a verbal order. Then the girl behind the counter can’t put your order in correctly and you stop wondering if it’s more efficient.

Burgers Are Not Bad...

...But Definitely Not Worth It. The Trip or The Price

I've Gotten Better Deals At Pro Sports Stadiums

And Better Tasting Fries. Way Last Trip for Me!

Steph is a burger traditionalist and purist and was panicked to find no ketchup or mustard on the order form. While there isn’t any on the menu there are three self serve tubs of mustard, mayo and ketchup next to the get your own beverage fountain. I am more of a sloppy mess burger fan so I ordered a beef burger with bleu cheese, horseradish mayo, tomato, roasted portabella, mixed greens, caramelized onions, onion rings, and bacon. The bacon and two onion rings cost you a buck apiece extra. The burger is fine, freshly griddled. The option of the pretzel bun was likely the only real redeeming factor for me over all. The horseradish mayo was way more mayo than horseradishy, the tomato slice was watery and tasteless, the greens were wilted, there was white stuff in the burger but no taste of blue cheese to be found. Copious ketchup and mustard became necessary to make the whole thing taste good and I can get that at McDonalds…and better more efficient service.


Outside of The Nationally Produced Condiments, The Pretzel Bun Wins the Day, Unfortunatley

Layers of Potential That Never Materialize

So the burger is average but you can add fries and a drink for an additional just over $3, and here is where the magic happens, dark black magic, think more Voldemort than Harry, the kind of magic that engenders spite and bitterness and thoughts of violence and vengeance. When my server (me) saw the customers face (me) you could tell that they (me) were embarrassed by the flash of disappointment on their (me) face at the state of the platter. A woefully anemic  little paper cup of sub standard and cold mushy fries made me wish I had spent my three dollars on gas to drive past Metro Burger, something I intend to do whenever the chance presents itself.

Again, this is just all my opinion. You might feel differently. Especially if you feel you might have cheated a restaurant by paying too little for a hamburger, you will easily make your penance here when you see the bill. Or maybe you are one of those people who feel guilty all the time about their diet but are still addicted to burgers. Here you can get a fix and a little exercise to counterbalance your sandwich. It might not be enough to make a difference but you can order the fries, make an extra trip to pick them up and since they are so few and nasty your caloric intake will be minimal. Plus you will have dramatically increased your penance payment for previous guilt and walk away soul unburdened; disappointed, angry, longing for (Insert any “Quick Service” Establishment Here), but unburdened.




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